I have pretty much given up the idea of divorce and finding someone else. I am too old and too tired. I am no longer physically capable of having the kind of sex I want, so why bother blowing things up to seek more or better sex?

No, as long as she continues to be pleasant and available for affection I am hoping she will choose to stay with me. And I am trying to interact with her more so she will want to.

We have found equilibrium. She has given up her dreams of riches. I have given up my dreams of sexual fulfilment. Both of us realize what the other person is sacrificing to stay together. We both feel it is a "fair deal". As Snarch (sp?) would say "typical marital sadism". Both of us are more concerned with the sadism being "fair and balanced" than with eliminating the pain. So for now, we both seem satisfied that the other person is suffering as much as we are, so we are comfortable being loving and supportive in areas outside of our spouse's primary complaint.

So far it seems to be working for us. Which cannot be said of the long time while we were each trying to get our needs met.

I would not suggest other people aim for where we find ourselves. But for now we are less mutually destructive than we were in the past.

When you can see it coming, duck!