Your W, who has a past of sexual abuse, opened herself up to you and ALL you thought of was YOURSELF. And getting EVEN with her.

You did think vengeful thoughts, didn't you?

"You wouldn't give to me when I asked, so I refuse you! Ha! How's that feel!"

You seem quite hateful and vengeful to me, hold. You won't help your wife heal. She's trying, and you're putting up hurdles to trip her. How terrible of you.

You wouldn't have sex because you didn't feel like it. How about all the times your W didn't feel like it? Did she get a pass from you? ABSOLUTELY NOT. You felt abused.

So you do it back.

And you somehow feel justified, and lifted. amiright?

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)