I think Soolee and Jack are both right.

This is a big dance / game between me and my wife. She is not blameless or willing to be open either. But I recognize the problem that I am not willing to take responsibility for my life. We can both be at fault. It doesn't have to be only one or the other.

At dinner Thursday several women commented on how nicely I speak to my wife. I am very complimentary to her. They said they never hear those kinds of things from their husbands. Nor from any other men. I said I speak that way to set an example for my daughter, so she knows what to demand in her marriage. The 2 other women said "you are setting her up with false expectations, there are few men who speak that way, and she will have trouble finding one". I said those are the ones she should pick from.

Yesterday morning, Mrs. Hold and I discussed what the other women said at dinner. Mrs. Hold said "that is what they want and don't get in their marriages. You see, everyone has something they want but don't get." I agreed. I went on "I bet a woman who wants that but doesn't get it would find me very intoxicacting." Mrs. Hold agreed. Then I looked at the clock, realized it was time to get moving, and got up to go. That is when she jiggled me.

But Soolee is correct. I don't feel unadulterated joy when Mrs. Hold offers to meet my needs. Because that means I have to clean up my side of the street. And I don't feel capable of doing it.