Originally Posted by maritalbliss
"it is disengenuous for anyone to come to this website and start slamming newly betrayeds with contradictory and/or useless info." I've never even seen such a thing like this take place, so I don't think a comment like this is accurate.

You really haven't?? I've actually had to tell two posters that I know of to STOP IT! Newbies will post ONE post and they're replying "your M will never work, dump the WS." or "you have a serial cheater on your hands" or "your WS is a sex addict and needs professional help". They are coming strictly from their own context, many times without even knowing the other poster's whole story. And always without introducing any MB concepts. One poster actually told a BS that their M wasn't worth saving because they didn't have any kids! crazy

And here is a perfect example of this from yesterday from the D/D forum. It was frustrating reading the story because the newbie was pointing blame at WH after she had A's but this was the first post that she received.

Originally Posted by jmwc95
We usually tell betrayed spouses on this board to divorce their WSs if they are multiple offenders. What is this, your 4th affair now. He shouldn't try to save the marriage because you'll just do this again in another couple years. Sure, this does not excuse his behavior. He's in the wrong as well. Both of you are screwed up, dysfunctional people. Both of you should probably divorce and spend some time ALONE to fix yourselves, because until you do, you will just continue your dysfunctional behavior with someone else. I feel sorry for your kids.

However, you can't be pissed that your husband is no longer fighting for you after multiple affairs. Where do you get off? You made your bed. Now you need to lie in it.

Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."