Actually, our relationship HAS gotten better. She made herself available again today. I turned her down because I wasn't in the mood, but asked her to snuggle and she complied until my morning breath forced her to seek fresh air. We had a pleasant dinner with S15 last night.

I may never leave. We are getting along better and better. My sex drive has substantially declined. She is meeting my need for AS. She is going back to school and "threatens" to get a job when she graduates.

No, the problem now is not my marriage. It is me. it is work. And my community service. My depression. And fatalistic attitude.

You are correct that I don't need to work on my marriage at this point. Not because it has irretrievably failed. But rather because it has gotten good enough that other concerns are more pressing.

And as for why I come here, after telling myself for 15 years (not without justification) that my marriage stinks, I need to keep reminding myself that within the past few months it has gotten better. So that my internal emotions match up with the new and improved reality. Hopefully that will help motivate me to improve other areas of my life.

When you can see it coming, duck!