I do not intend to refuse tomorrow, if she does indeed initiate.

Yes, the relationship dynamic is interesting. And complex. We had "vacations" from sex and mutual celibacy agreements in the past. Some of them lasted many months. None of them motivated her to initiate at any point. So the change in her behavior is not caused solely by the reduced pressure for sex.

It seems that a combination of age, time together, my withdrawing in general, our children getting older and needing her less, the realization that I might choose to leave when the kids do, her coming to accept that I am never going to meet her financial goals, perhaps some unconscious recognition that perhaps her behavior played some role in my lack of motivation, and who knows what else have combined to produce a very favorable result which I do not think would have been available in prior years.

I am trying very hard to let go of the resentment and appreciate what she now offers. That is why I focus on only posting positive interactions. Please call me on it if I slip back into old bad habits.

When you can see it coming, duck!