I feel SO stupid.

Long story short, for those who do not know my story: major marriage issues related to my H's old job, which he took against my wishes, issues related to after-hours parties/functions/events/howeveryouwanttoclassifythem that I was not invited to attend, and overnight travel. Coached with SH for six months, SH told my H to find a new job that had my support. H found one and changed jobs about four months ago.

NOW: H announced that he must attend an event this weekend and I am not invited to accompany him. I can go to it, since it is a public event, just not with him, I am not allowed into the arena where he will be enjoying food and wine with the invited special guests. AND next month he is required to be four states away for training for three days.

He told me, after the interview with this new place, that they encourage spouse participation at events and spouses are always invited, and that all training was local.

Lies, all of it.

He has now revealed that he never discussed with them during the interview phase that overnight travel or spouse-excluding events would be reasons why he would not be able to accept the job if offered. He asked a couple of questions about it and INFERRED that spouses were invited to events and training was all local.

He was wrong.

And now he's mad at ME. Threatening D again, because I don't like it. I asked him why he changed jobs in the first place if he was going to continue to demand that I tolerate the things I despised about the last job? What was the point?

He said he made a MISTAKE, he was mistaken about what he inferred from the interview, and now I must either tolerate it (by which he means support it--has said that!) or GTFO.

I asked if he would get with SH again. He said no, that all that talking with SH would accomplish is ME USING SH TO MANIPULATE HIM INTO DOING WHAT I WANT.

I'm livid and out of plans excepting B and D, neither of which I'm enthusiastic about doing. I'm more enthusiastic about B, but it's still going to be tough on the kids. I don't know that I can get him out without an order. Why am I not ready to call it quits???? The whole thing is ridiculous, going through a whole job change to address these specific issues and not seeing to it that they are actually being addressed, lying to your spouse to get support, it's shoplifting! He hijacked my support by lies.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)