(((CWMI))) I'm so sorry about all this.

You are in a very difficult position. It really does come down to:

now I must either tolerate it (by which he means support it--has said that!) or GTFO.

He KNEW these things were important to you and didn't work to ENSURE they were addressed, he assumed and told you they WERE to get you off of his back.

That's IB at it's best.

He can't shove that on to you. This wasn't a 'mistake' this was him trying to APPEASE you to get what he wants. Him > you + marriage.

It isn't manipulative to negotiate, especially when a previous POJA no longer has your enthusiasm. That's how it works. You stop being enthusiastic, you go back to negotiating. But it seems like he's interested in MB only as APPEASEMENT, not really to make his marriage better. He just wants you off his back and the freedom to make choices on his own.

B/D really seems the only route to go - unless you want to continue to live this way forever.

Me & DH: 28
Married 8/20/05
1DD, 9 mo.
Just Lookin' and Learnin'