CWMI,

Reading further, I assume that it's selfishness on your husband's part, rather than a boundary issue.

Since there was 6 mos of counseling with SH, he should be getting it...he's not and that raises a flag that maybe he has some type of personality disorder. I know we don't like to use that here at MB, but some spouses just don't have it in them to N, POJA, O and H. They never will.

If he is just that selfish and has that "if you don't like it, too bad" attitude with everyone, then you might want to consider moving on with your children. Letting him have full custody won't change anything and will only leave your kids vulnerable to him. He won't emotionally connect with them nor even try to meet their emotional needs.

If he's being stubborn, that's one thing. But if constantly shifting blame, making excuses, and refusing to take ownership of his choices is how he consistently operates, then you will definitely want to consider moving on without him. And take the children with you, further minimizing his ability to destroy them with his selfishness.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, CWMI