I have long suspected NPD. SH suggested that my H get evaluated for OCD.

I asked him if he ever felt that he was responsible for any of his problems, and he said nope, couldn't think of a single time where his action (or inaction) led to a problem. Not even this here. He argues that if I would just accept parties and travel as a part of life, there wouldn't be a problem! So it was MY ACTION that created this situation, to him.

That's so crazy, I don't even know what to do with it.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)