Originally Posted by Iconoclast
Pardon me for interrupting. First post. But felt it was necessary for you to be aware of the shift in the power dynamic of your relationship. You have seized the power, which she had, and is now impotent. Perhaps an experienced poster can expand upon that. Think about it, it may help allay your fears, and build your confidence.
I'm definitely in more of a confident place tonight than I was earlier today. I tend to be quite emotional and conservative in my states, but I adapt quickly to new circumstances.

Originally Posted by maritalbliss
CR, I want you to do this: sit down in a quiet room and cry your eyes out over this terrible turn of events. I'll wait.

Okay, all done? Now, put on your big boy pants and get ready to tackle this. Skip all that entitlement garbage about how her family does something a certain way, so she has to, too. That means nothing in this situation.

She's not going to kill herself. That is a manipulative tool that she's using against you.

She needs to know that she can come home when she is ready to eliminate OM from the picture.
I think I'm cried out for the moment. Probably happened 3-4 times yesterday afternoon during the exposure to close family and then 4 times this morning/afternoon on the heels of the blowup. Since then...maybe once or twice. I think I'm gradually getting stronger.

Funny the 'big boy pants' line...she occasionally likes to pull that one out in a semi-belittling tone when she thinks I'm being immature about something. (I don't think that you mean it in a condescending fashion...merely frank levity.)

I agree that the family stuff line from her was bull. It's a very stupid excuse, and I'm sure her parents would not be happy to hear it.

I don't think she'll kill herself either.

I feel like it should be understood, but I probably do need to relate the last point to her.

Oh, and I made the right decision in staying in our new home, yes? (She gave me a choice.)

Me: BS 28
Her: WS 27
Married: 2 years
D-Day 1: late Jul 10
D-Day 2: 8/12/10
D-Day 3: 9/30/10
Stage: Exposure Aftermath