Yeah, not lying and not demanding that a spouse just 'put up with it' is a part of MB, too.

Telly, I hear you, I can see how a misunderstanding COULD take place, but it shouldn't have, because all of us (me, H, SH) discussed H finding a job that didn't require spouse-excluding events or overnight travel. He KNEW to put these restrictions on his job search, that there was no point in taking anything that required this. He knew to say, "I will not be present at any events that my wife is not invited to attend and will be unable to do any overnight travel. Will that be a problem if I accept a position here?" He KNEW this, we discussed it FOR MONTHS. I told him the very day he went to talk to them, Make sure you tell them you can't travel or do events, and he said he would and then said he did, it wouldn't be an issue.

I agree about being gentle. He told me on the phone. I said, "I'm not happy about that." Then he went ballistic. I'm (not) sorry, but I firmly believe that people who KNOWINGLY disappoint others deserve to hear that they've done so, and even those who unknowingly do it should be informed as well.

He has flip-flopped a couple of times about speaking up at work, is back to saying he will take care of it to my satisfaction. Because of the flips, I asked him how he thinks I should handle it if he doesn't follow through. He only said, "I will, so there's nothing to handle!"

I don't have high hopes.

I'm not happy to be in this position, again. I wish I had more options besides plans B, D, C or FU, but I know that I don't. I'm Plan A'd to death. C is emotionally destructive to myself, and I can't afford that. B and D are frightening, but I know they are my only option to remove myself from this continued lack of care and protection. I've withdrawn from my first period class to take care of that issue before the school deadline, but I haven't worked up any more of the plan yet.

I'll write up a letter tomorrow.

Then, honestly? I'll pray that he comes home with the solution and we can return to MBing instead of MDestructing.

If not, I'll have to follow through on Plan B, because I cannot trust negotiations. omg, I pray it works.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)