Originally Posted by wannabophim
I think you should do some plan "C"...but not the way he wants it. You are not being clear on your boundaries to him.
First of all I agree that he should have investigated more about this job. However, right now you are in the situation you are in.

I am in the situation I am in right now because we were BOTH clear my boundaries but somebody was being deceptive and crossed them. We had big issues about him spending off-time on work when it was not required of him. Homecoming is not required of him. He is not going. Well, as of right now he is not going, but there's always tomorrow, and he very well may change his mind several times between now and then.

Do you recognize any difference between required events and brown-nosing non-required events? The agreement was that if he was REQUIRED to attend any work events, I would be able to accompany him. Not that I would willingly follow him around once a week to non-essential semi-work stuff. Achieving a better balance between home and work was a major factor in the decision to switch jobs. He told SH that he could not make plans with me because of his job, and SH told him that if he was going to blame the job, he needed to get a new one that didn't require so much of his attention.

Going with him on trips is an old agreement (which never worked anyway), and was voided when the new agreement was made that he would take this job that required NO TRIPS.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)