What if your husband was right?
What if your husband DID have assurances that there would be no travel, or Non-spouses times? He didn't get it in writing, but he seems to have gotten some assurances.
Then his old employer shows up after being told that "the new job doesn't have travel or "Non-spouse" time. Evidence that you were not the only one he told that the new job was different.
How about your husband is so good at what he does, that even after four months, he has favorably impressed his new employer that he is moving UP in the organization and more travel and events are required?
Can you not see that he may be in the right here?
He tried to get new job that didn't require these things, and seems to have succeeded. And then things changed.
I understand that you feel whip-sawed, or that you didn't marry a JOB. My BW always felt that I liked my job more than my home life. I certainly thought that work was better. I got approval, admiration, and happy thoughts from work. I got disapproval, and disagreement at home.
My BW just wanted me to treat her and my family with more concern, and care, That meant that I described accruately my schedule for the week with her, so that she knew when I planned to work late, or had to be out of the office, and that I would call and let her know that I was leaving the office, or the plans had changed if something came up. That my concern was WITH HER, and considered HER first before I agreed to take a trip, or work late, or didn't come home on time.
This seems to be at the root of your issues. He agrees to do things at the office or for the office, then comes home and informs you of the decision.
And your evening last night seems so much farther than this:
I responded, somewhat snarkily, "I know you'll keep your promise this time."
So your going in the right direction. He may not be the perfect husband, but he can certainly be trained. It won't happen over night. When you changed your approach, his manner changed. ANd that seemed to work. The "connection" occurred. And that doesn't mean that it is always going to "connect" but you can build on that.