"I am simply astonished that she would try to justify her overspending. I can understand explaining why it happened. How she felt at the time. But not asserting that it was OK and I should stop viewing it as excessive or inappropriate. It is one thing to expect that after all this time I wuold forgive her. But it is another to assert that I don't need to forgive her because she didn't do anything wrong."

And this is exactly why you need move forward with the trust.

I'll bet this issue isn't over for Mrs. H. I expect her to keep after you and this will get uglier than it already is. Has she been diagnosed as a narcissistic personality? I wonder if this will be a big divide that can't be mended.

Formerly nam here since 07/31/03 coastal, CT