Hello everyone... it's been awhile since I posted, but another thread really caught my emotion on this issue, and I just had to comment.

The main gist of the convo was when people say they were never in love with their spouse, it's typically what wayward spouses say as justification for their affair.

I commented as follows:

Quote
Originally Posted by stillhere8126
I am sorry but the usual quote from a wayward spouse is "I was never in love with BS" ILYBINILWY.....Please in order for poster to help you more please admit if you have had an affair

Originally Posted by Tabby1
So tell us about your boyfriend. Because this:
Quote
I'm not in love with him and not attracted to him. I

is code for "I'm cheating on him".

I've been away from the boards for awhile, catching up, and am a little late to this convo...

I just want to say two things:
1. The above is not always true. May be true in this case, but not always.
2. The above explains the reaction I got when I first came to this board (hundreds of posts lost when the board crashed).

I say this because I married for 12 years a man I was never attracted to after 3 years of quasi-dating but basically being best friends. I never felt sexual attraction for my ex. I have been divorced for over a year, and separated two years. Even being single there are extremely few men I am actually attracted to. Again, not saying this is the case with tbmc but just for posterity I want to note that, yes, there are indeed some people married to folks they are not attracted to. Some they stopped being attracted to (affair, got fat, not meeting needs, etc) and some they just never were. Some of us just aren't wired normally, I guess.

DTC

I'm glad to understand that now, because I got quite a lot of 2x4s when I first got here (all those posts were lost when the server crashed) and couldn't figure out why my story upset so many people. I'm not complaining, though, because I got a LOT of help, and I learned a lot about how I contributed to my marriages demise.

"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer