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Well, Miss Scottie, if your new IM doesn't work out, I offer my services to you........ Not Ps.....now doesn't THAT read funny????.... 
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BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I hope you will reconsider telling the BH.
He is playing Russian Roulette with his life, and he doesn't even know it.
Ask yourself why this information came into your possession.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I wish that you would tell the BH also. What if he were given an STD, or HIV/AIDs? How would you feel if you had known, and hadn't told him?
Me: BW, 46
Him: WH, 48
EA/PA with co-worker 8-08 to 7-09
D-day 7-29
NC 8-17
OW and WH both fired from jobs
OW lost court case for restraining order- judge called her a "practiced deciever" who manufactured evidence!!
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I have decided that I can't be the one to tell, I don't understand this??? Why??? Couldn't you have told the MIL? Then she could get the word to BH...
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You guys are going to have to understand that I am not telling for now. That's it, that's all. There are some times when exposure may create harm to the person who exposes. I am CERTAIN that the BH WILL find out. He will, it just won't be me. I have talked to someone about this off-board and that person agreed with the full sitch that I can't fully discuss on here. Remember, I have told people about this web site. They DO lurk me here. I have decided that I am NOT going to tell but the seed has been planted and if someone else takes it upon themselves to tell, I won't even know who it was. I DO know that it WILL happen.
That is all I have to say about that sitch. As I have stated, EXPOSURE IS IMPORTANT AND THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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You guys are going to have to understand that I am not telling for now. That's it, that's all. There are some times when exposure may create harm to the person who exposes. I am CERTAIN that the BH WILL find out. He will, it just won't be me. I have talked to someone about this off-board and that person agreed with the full sitch that I can't fully discuss on here. Remember, I have told people about this web site. They DO lurk me here. I have decided that I am NOT going to tell but the seed has been planted and if someone else takes it upon themselves to tell, I won't even know who it was. I DO know that it WILL happen.
That is all I have to say about that sitch. As I have stated, EXPOSURE IS IMPORTANT AND THE RIGHT THING TO DO. I trust that scotty knows best 
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Me too...Me toooo 
Last edited by stillhere8126; 10/21/10 01:36 PM. Reason: Big kiss
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. 
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Me three! She has good reasons.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Well, that friend of mine, who was using DB, just messaged me on FB. Her WH left last year, some time in July. He came home in February this year. He still talks to OW and is moving out again. FR anyone? I told her about this place. I hope she decides to come here. I know how much it helped me.
Just goes to show that although DB was able to get her her WH back, it did NOTHING for the recovery AFTER the affair(although since he hasn't stopped talking to OW it was never really over).
Wayturds suck azz.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I can't remember the book, or where the quotes were on here about "Just friends." I think it was mentioned by MrW or Mark. I have a friend who may need it's words of wisdom. Thanx.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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"Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Thanx Guys/Gals.
I need to pass it on.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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So, this afternoon, I was upstairs reading, and DS10 comes into my room. He says, "Urgent message from daddy. He won't be picking us up tomorrow because the power steering is broken on the truck." I said, "How do you know?" He said, "Daddy called and I answered the phone." I said, "Okay, I will deal with it, but you know that Daddy can't send messages through you right?" He says, "Yes. I saw it was him so I answered." So, at first I was PISSED because he didn't use the IMs(AGAIN). I DO NOT consider this an emergency. He is giving me almost 20 hours notice. I am going to miss a day of work because I have no one who can babysit for me tomorrow. I KNOW that it is HIS responsibility. Thing is, if he just doesn't show up, then I can't leave. So, I have come up with the best most fair solution. I am going to ask my new IM to send the following message and I would appreciate any input on the topic. Bampot, This is NEW IM. I am now going to be the email IM for Scotty. You can still contact me through the same email as it was set up for this purpose only. If there are ever any urgent sitchs, feel free to text me at 555-5110.
I understand that you sent a message through DS10 that your car was not functioning and you would be unable to pick up the children for their visit on Sunday, October 24, 2010 as scheduled. Messages are not to be passed through the children, please refrain from doing this in the future. You are also to refrain from contacting Scotty personally, unless it's an emergency.
Second, due to the fact that you are supposed to have the children at this time, in the future it is your responsibility to find adequate babysitters for the boys.
Third, as your wife was unable to find someone to watch the boys, she will miss a day of work. Please transfer over $XX on Friday for the missed day's pay.
Thank you.
NEW EMAIL IM.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Sounds great to me....but you better wait for the vets to chime in.....also....What a jerk he is...
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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Unless you want to add in that this was not an emergency...like "You are also to refrain from contacting Scotty personally unless its an emergency as this was not." or something, IDK its up to you.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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Bampot called DS10 again for the "daily" chat. Of course, the first question he must have asked him was if he told me about tomorrow. DS10 said, "Mommy knows and everyone is working so she has to call in sick(actually I am calling in with no sitter) to work." Then he starts telling him about everything that we did today. ARGH.
I am going to need to tell DS10 again that he is NOT to pass messages along to Bampot. ARGH
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Scotty,
Sorry you are dealing with this issue of Bampot using the kids to leverage you. Even to this day after 6 years with my ex, I still deal with it.
As I'm sure you are quite aware that this kind of situation really puts a lot of pressure on the kids. All I can say is it really sounds like your are handling this the correct way.
Concerning the message that you send, you might want to send a separate message re-iterating that he needs to refrain from using the children for message passing and message gathering.
I hope you don't take this the wrong way. Be sure to create a journal of these incidences for future possibilities. Of which of course won't be needed.
Hang in there!
Last edited by clark_kent; 10/24/10 02:26 AM.
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Thanx for the advice CK, a journal has always been done. I too hope that it is not one day needed but I need to protect myself.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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