I still beleive that you are locked in the same dance that my BW and I had.

Work first, all else second.

MB trained me out of that. How I could still do what I needed to do at work, but I provided my BW with the information she needed to run her life.

When the boss says I have to work late, or go away, or do X, Y and Z, I call my BW and tell her what is up, and then I go tell the boss what I can DO.

That puts you first. You feel that you are number 3, 4, 7, or 15 on the list. And NO wife should be in that space.

Work on THAT for a while. Just have him keep you in the loop about what is happening. A text message, or a quick phone call, "work till 6 2night" or "Sudden order, will leave @ 6:30" or "Boss says trip to Cleveland around Nov 5th, what's happenening?"

Get him trained on the simple things, of bringing you into the loop. THe bigger concerns will start to get addressed that way.

And no DJ's about: "I have told him to do that before!, and he doesn't!" "he isn't that concerned", etc.

Your looking for a better marraige. He wants you to be happy. You can't get happy until he starts treating you like an equal. So start small, and build from there.