Originally Posted by lousygolfer
Once, twice, Three Times? I mean, how many cars has your family owned since you have been married? I ask because I want to caution about exaggeration in these matters. One time does not a pattern make. "You do it all the time!" and "Always!" are lovebusters...

I like this. I'm not sure if you are quilty of this, CWMI. But I do know that my wife used to be quite often. And from witnessing numerous arguments between friends and family, it's not uncommon to hear "You always..." or some variant of it.

KT mentioned something about the "list of wrongs" (my term) that a woman can store up. My BW certainly can come up with very specific, and detailed times that I have done something WRONG. And just like your husband, I can NOT detail the lovebusters and DJ's that come my way in quite the same manner. And I am not saying that talking to your sister equates to buying a car.

This sounds familiar what used to go on in my marriage. And this sounds familiar in much the way men and women operate. A lot of husbands would say, �I�m not sure what happened�she just dropped a bunch of complaints on me from out of nowhere. � And then the husband would say something like, �Well, you�ve pissed me off too!� And when the wife asks for specific examples, the husband doesn�t have any. I would say your husband falls into the typical guy syndrome with this. You might ask him to be honest with you when you upset him at the time you upset him so he� s not trying to scramble and bring up something. All he knows is that he�s been upset by you but doesn�t really keep the details in his head.

Here�s an example of not bringing stuff up when it should be brought up. Sunday my wife and I were supposed to go out and watch a movie and go out to eat for lunch without the kids. All week I was looking forward to it. Then Sunday rolls around and my wife has a change of heart and decides she wants to take the kids fishing and go to the park. And I had reminded her at least twice a day everyday T, W, Th, and F to ask her mom to watch the kids for a few hours so we could go out. Each time she said, �No problem. I keep forgetting to ask her. I�ll do it soon.� Well, she hadn�t brought it up to her mom it turns out. Now granted I had some homework due and the carpets needed to be cleaned. So I used this time to clean the carpets and get some homework done. But I would rather have sacrificed some sleep to do the homework and gone out on a date with my wife. But I didn�t say anything. And I still haven�t said to my wife, �you know, I�m really upset that we had made plans to go out and we didn�t.� I will though today when I shoot her a text in a bit. If not, then I start to think, �why would I bring something up that happened three days ago or a week ago� (or insert X amount of time). And when you�re upset with your spouse, one tends to be a bit more heightened and sensitive to other things that wouldn�t normally upset them�but do.

Soooo�that�s a long story short to say your husband just might not bring stuff up that upsets him when it does upset him and then time passes and doesn�t want to bring up old stuff. Pretty soon details start to fade but we do know that our wives have upset us. But we don�t have specifics and so it gets dismissed because we don�t have details. Meanwhile, the wives are bombarding the husband with very specific details.

Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)