When my husband started having his business intrude on our home time I went through a lot of the actions you describe CWMI, and had a certain amount of what I figured was righteous indignation. DH just called it anger.

Anyway, I finally realized that half of what I was angry about was the way my husband was presenting these events. He knew I would be unhappy about him leaving, and this made him defensive about the way he would present things. He'd say "yeah, I have to leave in 2 days to go to [some remote site]. No I don't know how long I'll be gone, and they don't have cell phone service out there." End of story.

This left me incredibly frustrated and had me trying to reshuffle a weeks worth of plans to accomodate his ever, changing schedule. Drove me insane.

Finally I asked him to consider things from my point of view, which he said he did. And I asked him to present situations like this gently, and to let me know that he wished he didn't have to go, etc.

So then his rewording of the situations would be "you know that situation out in [ remote place x ], well I've gotta go sort it out, and it means that I'll probably miss Jr's concert (or whatever). I hate this part of my job, I'm probably gonna for gone for 4 days or so I can call you from the hotel each evening when I get back from the mine site."

That was much better, and made me feel appreciated even though I still was left as the single parent for a week or more sometimes.