So are you saying that the only type of marriage that you will tolerate is 0% travel?

What I mean is, are there acceptable circumstances where you would agree that you are willing to accept travel? If there are none, then I think you need to tell him this, and not just complain when it happens. It needs to be this is a deal-breaker, nope, I won't put up with it. Never, ever, or we do plan D.

Evidently from your posts, there is no way to poja this. And I hear you on that. Perhaps husband needs to as well. And perhaps you need to stick by your guns if this is the case. What I see is you laying down the law (figuratively speaking), husband going along with it in theory, his job getting in the way of this, him lying to hide it, finally coming out with it when he has no choice, you chewing him out for it, and then you both getting on with life.

Can you live this pattern for the rest of your marriage? I understand that Dr. Harley agrees with you that there should be no separated over-night travel. But does your husband?