Originally Posted by inrecoverynow
I guess, what I don't get in all of this, is why your husband isn't respecting/following Steve's advice. Counseling with SH takes lots of resources, in terms of time and money. Why spend those resources for something that won't be used?

Has SH told your husband he can't cherry pick the MB program? That your husband can't negotiate which parts of SH's advice he's going to follow and which he won't.

Have you guys considered having a brush up session with SH?

Again, I don't know why he's not following the advice. I can speculate, based on some things he said. smile He felt manipulated by Steve to do what I want, and the advice did not take into consideration Real World Situations. My H does not believe that people have choices. You do what The Man tells you to do (the man who signs your paycheck, not your guru or g-forbid your spouse).

I asked H if he would join me in getting w/SH again, that's when I found out he felt totally manipulated by the process. He cannot believe that SH agreed with me about H answering his phone when I call. SH told him that business people (at least moral business people, those who believe that marriage is precious and to be protected) RESPECT a person who excuses themself to take a spouse's call. H does not believe that at all. I even asked H about two scenarios: one where a client's phone rang and they looked and said, "Meh, it's my wife," and shut it off, and a client whose phone rang, they said, "It's my wife. Excuse me one minute," and which one he would have more respect for, which one he would come away thinking was the trustworthy person, and he said the one who excused themself to take the call. ??? I have no idea. I really think my H does not believe social rules apply to him.

He does answer his phone now, mostly, and if he doesn't, he texts me right away to tell me why.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)