I am wondering if you feel it is better if your husband hates you for maintaining a fixed position and forcing him to make further changes?

There are always solutions to problems.

UA is very beneficial for a marriage. This can be difficult to achieve with children always around. A perfect solution to this can be for a couple to get away by themselves for a few days every 3 or 4 months. It is even better if an employer helps pay for this.

Sometimes we think we can not leave the children due to circumstance. In reality this would just make people feel trapped and so appropriate changes need to be made to accommodate this.

Travelling with your husband seems the ideal situation to promote a healthy family. The problem now appears to be that your work situation is too inflexible to allow for this UA time away.

The question now is, are you prepared to change your job, to find something else more family friendly? Is family important enough to you, that you are prepared to make the necessary changes?