That's an idea, markos. We spent more than that on phone coaching.

Barbie, I think the root of the issue is consideration. For instance, when I was invited into Honors at school, I talked with my H before I accepted it. It's going to mean tougher classes and more work. I talked to him before I accepted the position with the magazine, because it involves time and more work. I wanted to make sure he would be happy with more of my time going toward school, that it was workable between us. I told him how much time it was going to take, told him how I planned to manage it, and we agreed that it would be a good thing for me and wouldn't be a problem for him.

But now he gets offered something, and he makes the decision alone and informs me of his decision after the fact. And if I don't like it, too bad for me!

It's NOT controlling to want to be considered. It's not controlling to want to be part of the decision-making process, in fact, that is a basic tenet of the MB program.

He's not controlling toward me in telling what to do or not do. He's been quite pushy on the DS, but I think Steve pretty well resolved that issue. If there's a control issue at all, I would say it is that H wants to be in complete control of everything that he does without having to consider how that may affect anyone else.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)