That's an idea, markos. We spent more than that on phone coaching.

Barbie, I think the root of the issue is consideration. For instance, when I was invited into Honors at school, I talked with my H before I accepted it. It's going to mean tougher classes and more work. I talked to him before I accepted the position with the magazine, because it involves time and more work. I wanted to make sure he would be happy with more of my time going toward school, that it was workable between us. I told him how much time it was going to take, told him how I planned to manage it, and we agreed that it would be a good thing for me and wouldn't be a problem for him.

But now he gets offered something, and he makes the decision alone and informs me of his decision after the fact. And if I don't like it, too bad for me!

It's NOT controlling to want to be considered. It's not controlling to want to be part of the decision-making process, in fact, that is a basic tenet of the MB program.

He's not controlling toward me in telling what to do or not do. He's been quite pushy on the DS, but I think Steve pretty well resolved that issue. If there's a control issue at all, I would say it is that H wants to be in complete control of everything that he does without having to consider how that may affect anyone else.