Inrecovery: I agree completely that artistic needs cannot come before marital needs. The problem I see for CWMI's H is, this need he has to travel (and I'm not sure that this is even a need for him, so I'm going off the assumption that it may be) is not respected or supported at all. There is no real way for him to POJA a situation where CWMI has already clearly stated that she is not okay with him traveling for business, anywhere, any time.

It would be the same as my H saying he isn't okay with me writing, ever again. It's a deal breaker for him. If I continue to write, then the M is over.

If traveling means as much to CWMI's H as writing does to me (and I have no idea if this is true or not) then there is no win-win situation that I can see here. Either he gives up something he dearly loves (traveling) or he loses his M.

Honestly, I would have a very difficult time accepting this if my H gave me a similar ultimatum, mostly because he knows how much my writing means to me, and to ask me to give up something that is so important to me would tell me that he doesn't care very much about me or really understand anything about me at all.

All I asked CWMI to do was to consider what it is that her H gets out of traveling. Try to understand why this might be so important to him. Maybe it isn't even that important to him at all, and that's what she would discover. But I get the feeling that she hasn't really talked to him about his feelings regarding this. I get the feeling he's afraid to really share his feelings with her because he already knows what her reaction is going to be.

Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.