None of you who have not left cannot say for certain what is your deal-breaker. Writer, I told you before to read up on Lydia Sigourney, her H told her to stop writing, she has a very interesting story, and although there is a lot of deception involved in what she did, she managed to meet her H's needs while still pursuing her craft on the sly and rescued her family because of it after her H's business failed. It's a very interesting story that speaks to the hypothetical situation you've been presented, and how a person can unobtrusively chase dreams. Her H no longer supported the time she put in and how that affected her domestic duties, and he resented her growing fame. So she upped her DS, wrote when she could do so without affecting the meeting of her H's needs, and published anonymously. She lied, basically, but I still think it's a great story of creatively 'having it all'.