Originally Posted by CWMI
Markos, I have tried plain English. I have tried logic. I have tried 'feeling' statements. I have tried SH.

I'm out of try.

I know that feeling, CWMI, and I'm just here to tell you it still doesn't justify any abusive behaviors, including disrespectful judgments.

I tend to be a bit more abrupt with people here who have missed pertinent information when doling out advice,

Well, I know that feeling, too. smile And it is technically true that the person you need to spare from all DJs is your husband. But practicing with other people helps. And when you start to view DJs as abuse you start asking yourself when it is ever okay to use them on anyone. (I don't know the answer to that question. Prisca has a saying on that topic that I find delightful: "But some folks in life are just crying out for disrespectful judgment!")

I know this, I get sick of being made out to be the bad guy here when I'm not the one being deceptive or uncaring.

I don't think you are the bad guy at all. I think it is just about as straightforward as you are describing it: you thought you had an agreement with your husband, and it doesn't seem to be working out like you expected. I believe you (and he) should get what you want out of your marriage.

I think that just like from the beginning you will always be getting some advice here that does not line up with the Marriage Builders concepts. So keep them in mind always as you scrutinize everything.

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.