I think you may be focusing on a symptom and not the root problem. Your husband seems to see any decision of yours that conflicts with his as an unacceptable level of control. Perhaps he likes traveling because then he gets to act like a man with no ties.

You mentioned that even the good Dr. says that your husband has an aspect of OC about him (chairs must be in a certain place, etc). This seems like more the issue than travel. He has the excuse that "this is for work", so nyah, nyah, nyah, can't beat this.

Maybe rather than focusing on the downstream aspects, travel, see if he is willing to focus on the upstream stuff, fear of control. I can see that you are very frustrated, as many would be.

But if you can't help feeling unhappy about the travel, and you aren't willing to go to Plan B, I think you need to find another way around this mountain. Not giving up, or sacrificing, but consider this as a long-term situation that might not get resolved at this moment.

I think you've made a rod for your own back by insisting that your husband take you on all travel instances. Its expensive, and unpleasant as you learned by this trip to NO. Perhaps you can come up with another solution? What happens if the next time he has to travel you or the kids have big things on at uni or school. This doesn't seem like a viable long-term thing.

I do have sympathy with you on this, as do a lot of people. We are trying to come up with solutions, but ultimately you are the one that has to determine a plan of action that is suitable.