PS. Thank you markos!

CWMI, you and I have butted heads in the past. BUt I stick around here, because I really do want you to succeed.

And I think your marriage really raises the question of what do you do when your spouse seems unwilling to respect your non-negotiables.

Me? I tend to give in to some extent. That's probably not healthy, and I agree it's not completely MB.

That doesnt' mean I don't agree with MB or want peopel to fully implement it.

It DOES mean that I would rather be married to my H than not, even if there are one or two things we can't perfectly resolve. I guess that means to date, the things we can't resolve don't make large enough withdrawals from my LB.

In any case, I am trying to think WITH you. I have apologized in the past when I have gotten angry, or been hurtful, or unhelpful.

If the only way you see your marriage succeeding is for your husband not to travel away from you at all, and your husband (for whatever reason HE thinks is important) is unwilling to accomodate that in his decisions, than what options do you have?

I see only plan B or D. Unless you talk to Dr. H and see what he thinks.

Your H knows how you feel. Right now, that doesn't seem to be enough. God knows it would be nice if it were... That all spouses should be more like Markos has become "if it bothers my spouse at all, I won't do it."

Some spouses aren't like that. And then you either compromise, or you get out (at least as far as i see it).

edited to add: I wish someone would swoop in here and say "Cwmi, here's what you do/say to help your husband understand and accomodate your needs." I don't see that happening.

Maybe Dr. H would have better ideas. maybe he would be able to get through to your husband (again?). I don't know.

I sure hope you guys are able to resolve it, and if you don't mind I"ll continue to talk with you about it.

But if me merely posting things that you don't like/want to do is upsetting you (perhaps based on the fact that we have fought in the past), then do you want me to stay off your thread? Is it so unhelpful to you that I see things differently, or might sometimes have advice you won't take that I shouldn't post to you?

Last edited by Telly; 11/12/10 07:31 AM.

Me 42
H 46
Married 12 years
Two children D9 and D4 !