I think the whole point here has been lost in a sea of personal attacks on my communication style. I am extremely frustrated, there is no doubt about that. I don't believe it is my communication style that is the problem in my marriage.

For instance, I asked him about that harsh thing he said the other night, when he said he would continue to do things that appear he is not considering me, but he doesn't take me for granted. To me, those two things don't even make sense together. I found out why. He said that 'considering' someone means to appreciate them. I had to show him the dictionary to convince him that that is not what it means. Considerate: mindful of the needs, wishes, and feelings of others. Considering: taking something into account (mainly the needs, wishes and feelings of others, lol). It is a maddening way to communicate.

Last night, he came home and said his truck was acting up and he was going to take it to the shop this morning, if he could make it, the truck was acting like it was going to stall out. So he left this morning and I told him to just call me if he didn't make it. He didn't call, so I phoned him and said, "I suppose you made it okay, then?"

He said, "Nope! The truck is at the shop now."

I said, "Oh no, did you have to get towed in?"

He said, "No, I made it there."

WHAT??? Didn't I just ask you that? Didn't you just answer no? Maddening! Is there anything that can be done about an unclear communicator? How can I tell him that the way he miscommunicates is a problem without him feeling attacked? I think he knows this, but he doesn't see it. It's been a problem for a long time.

TELLY: of course you can talk to me.

LG: I don't know if this makes any difference in your "cesspool" perception, but my H sells extremely high-end cars, most of them cost more than our house. He does sell some used ones, consignment mostly. Still cost more than our house, lol.

His communication style probably does have a lot to do with his business.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)