Thanks, Tel...

It's frustrating because I don't need that...admiration and praise is not high on my list of needs. It's like he has me confused with him, he ascribes his needs to me instead of paying attention to what my needs actually are. Now if he did say that I was important to him and that I mattered and my feelings mattered, that would be one thing--I'd appreciate that very much! What he said was that he appreciated everything I do FOR HIM, for the house, for the kids, and he's proud of how well I'm doing in school.

I told him I was having a ton of anxiety about travel still weighing on us. He said that he did not want to travel, he knows how difficult it is for our family and even though he thinks I should trust him and allow it, he understands that he busted that by lying about it in the past and also behaving inappropriately while on trips.

Let me back up...I told him about the anxiety, and he said that I had a mental problem. I asked him if he thought it was a mental problem to not want your spouse staying out all night drinking in another state on a business trip? Are 'normal' people okay with that? Would HE be okay with that? Then back to the last paragraph...

..and on to him stating that the next time it came up, he would tell his boss he couldn't do it. I asked him about telling his boss that now? This trip we just got back from wasn't 'required' in that it certified him or that the entire team was required to do it or anything, and not going would not have cost him his job. He said he would talk to him now. Honestly, I would be shocked if he did. He's already lied to him (or one of us, or all of us) and said that he never had the understanding that there would be no travel. I asked him to tell his boss the truth and get the matter settled.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)