I would say he has definitely improved from when I first arrived here, talking with SH had the biggest impact. Remember him taking a crowbar to our fireplace when I was in the bathroom? Or stripping down our patio umbrella while I was at the grocery store? Stuff like that does not happen anymore. Thank God.

And he talks more, tells me about stuff going on, but then there's some icky stuff there...yesterday he told me about a situation at work, and long story short, he told me had decided to handle it in, imho, an unethical way, with deception by omission. You know what a problem I have with that, and it's beyond just not liking it when it's done to me, but when someone practices it in general life. I don't respect people who do that. So anyway, after he told me his plans, I asked him, "Is that how you would like to be treated if this was reversed?"

In my head, I was thinking, he just went to that customer service seminar, he's read Leadership and Self-deception, The Fred Factor, the Speed of Truth, and he just doesn't 'take' to any of it. There's a lack of introspection and absorption and application. I didn't *say* any of that, but that's what I was thinking as he was telling his story.

Anyhoo...he got mad when I asked him that question and told me I was telling him how to do his job. I calmly said I had only asked him a question, and if he didn't want to answer it, that was fine. End of discussion, until later in the day.

He said he was conflicted, that he felt he needed to do what he planned to do to support the family. Then I had the chance to say that I felt that the Bible teaches us to guard our support, our sustenance, by following the word of God, and if we do good things, right and moral acts, then we will be provided for, but doing wrong and immoral acts will certainly put us at risk of losing provision. He *heard* that.

He had another situation not long ago where he was faced with something similar, and he did the 'right' thing and was completely up front about it, and it worked out very, very well. I don't know why he doesn't build on his own experiences--"When I deceive, it ends up bad. When I am truthful, everything goes well."

And this current situation is not in any way of his doing. He was going to be deceptive to cover for SOMEONE ELSE'S MISTAKE. I do not get this mentality!!

What I get really exhausted about is the initial conversations go poorly, and he needs hours and hours to calm down and be rational. It is exhausting! I feel like the mother/coach/psychologist, and I just want to be the wife. I want to be able to have discussions with my H that don't end up with him melting down.

He's having migraines again, too. I speculate that these are tied to the times in his life when he is conflicted between doing the right thing, and following his nature to say eff it, I'll do what I think is going to benefit ME the most!

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)