Thanks for the support everyone. It feels good to be able to talk about this.

Its not that simple for me to get down there right now. When I go it will be for good and there is so much i have to arrange here first. My fear is that by the time I get there it will be too late.

She is blocking her feelings right now, she says she can't deal with the shame and disgrace, and has to stay busy to cope (not difficult with 5 small children in the house).

She is receiving counselling at her church (we are both Christians) but has a LOT of baggage from her past. Abuse, neglect, rape. Blocking her hurt has been her way of dealing with things.

As for me, I am at a very low ebb just now. Believe me, if I could be there tomorrow I would. I am so paranoid right now. I do believe her when she says she is sorry, I want to believe her when she says she will not allow this to happen again, but its so difficult.

She is going to be away from the home all day today (with the kids at her home village). Right now, if I can't see exactly where she is I fear the worst.