Here's what you wrote:
I really don't want to get them dragged into all this and hurt in the process.
My friend, they are down there right now and up to their eyeballs in it. You don't think they're confused by meeting 'uncle John' and being sent to bed early? Because that's what will probably be happening soon.
I can't drive a wedge between her and them.
No sweat, dutch. OM will be able to do that for you. naughty
She and my wife have many unresolved issues from her childhood and this would be the icing on the cake I feel.
Dysfunctional childhoods. We've all had them, dutch. That should not dictate your exposure.
I could expose this to her family here, but I really don't want to leave her open to the disgrace and shame. I love her too much for that.

This is faulty logic, dutch. You're saying that your WW is threatening your M by her actions, so you're going to hide her actions and enable her to continue her bad behavior because you love her. What?? crazy If she were drinking and driving would you not take away the keys and remove the possibility of her harming herself or someone else? Or would you hide this behavior and pretend everything is fine, and let her keep the keys?

D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!