Don't worry about hijacking. Maybe you can help me understand my H, and maybe I can help you understand what it is like to live with a 'get out of trouble' liar...or any kind of liar.

What kind of trouble do you think you'll get in when you tell the truth? With my H, I think he ascribes motives to me that I don't have; they're motives I *think* he has, so he (maybe?) thinks everyone must think that way. For instance, that my aim in complaining is to punish, when really it is to incite change. I am thisclose to believing that he thinks 'getting one over' on someone is an admirable trait, something to be envied, as though it means the person 'getting it over' has some sort of special ability. Like it's a game.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)