After being away for 7 or 8 months, I did not plan to post twice i one day, but since you just posted, I will keep a dialogue going with you.

I am not saying you should not feel sore at your husband. He is slipping back into what appears to be the same old behaviors which hurt you in his old job. It is very easy for current behaviors to be triggers for old feelings, too easy to feel like you felt before, when it maybe isn't the same behavior, or the same situation, nor nearly as bad.

You didn't address any of my comments, so I guess you are to steamed to shift your point of view from your own feelings to his feelings, to what is driving him, about which I speculated.

I would recommend a book about anger that has been discussed here before, but that is what got me expelled last Spring. You and your husband are both dancing, reaction to each other, a sort of chain reaction.