Originally Posted by holdingontoit
I don't think I have done a good job of communicating how much our relationship dominates my thoughts every waking moment, and in such a negative manner. Most of the time I talk to her in a very loving if co-dependent manner. Exactly what Harley warns against. I repress and resent and then it builds up and I self-sabotage. Deeply embedded pattern that I have not been motivated to change. Maybe as we get closer to the kids leaving, I will be brave enough to be honest more of the time.

Hold what Telly wrote is a good example of how to interact with your wife confidently, positively and in the moment.
Waiting 5 or 6 years to tell your wife about about your "negative manner", is neither positive or confident nor in the moment.

How does your wife feel about your down ramping of self?