Originally Posted by CWMI
SW, you came here 'hating' your H before you knew about any affairs. It was the title of one of your threads: "Hate my husband". Are you really saying you would have continued being married to him, hating him, refusing to have sex with him, if he remained just as he had been when you got here? For the rest of your life? You may say yes. I would say, for me, no, I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a loveless, or hate-filled, marriage.

I can put up with some faults. Disregarding me is not one of them. Neither is dishonesty.

I did not refuse to have sex with him. In fact we continued having sex right up until the morning I found out about OW. I did hate him at times....I vented here a lot. I got a lot of 2 X 4s too. I worked very very hard to be the best wife I could to him even though he was viscious to me on many levels. It was definitely to a level of abuse that I would not encourage anyone to tolerate. He cursed me constantly, belittled me constantly, lived an entirely seperate life from me and ds. Is that really the kind of marriage you have with your dh?

I also did not come here hating him before I found out about any of his affairs. I first came here in the summer of 07 when I accidentally discovered he was trying to hook up with the wife of one of his oldest friends from High School.

So to answer your question about ME specifically....I wish I had not spent so many years working so hard. I wish I had not required proof of his seriel cheating before I kicked him to the curb. And as bad as it was it wasn't all bad. I would not say it was totally hate filled and loveless.

Is that how you really feel about your marriage? Because I don't see your marriage that way.....maybe it really is...but I don't read that in your posts. If my XH ONLY worked a lot...had ONLY disconnected from us like he did....but been kind to me...I would not have divorced him.