Cwmi, I was hoping those changes back then would last. It seemed to simple, it was all in place, set up for success.

I don't think it's stupidity. I think it's Renter mentality. "I'm willing to make some limited repairs, but if something really needs fixing, it's not my job." I don't understand why it came back. And darn it if nothing else, for the kids' sake, I wish the good days would have lasted longer. Build up some good memories for them. I don't know, maybe you all did that already.

Do you remember ForeverHers? He called it an issue of pre-eminence - who rules your life? Me or Thee.

The one regret I have, cwmi, is that I never went to my church, my pastor, for help. Years ago, I confided in one staff member there when I was concerned about x's drinking, and she prayed with me about that. But when I was ready for Plan B, the only thing I did was ask for prayers for unity in my family. I never told them where I was, and asked them to reach out to H. I didn't want to be a "bother." My church had just lost it pastor, and was searching for a replacement. I had my pastor's email, could have spoke to him anyway. But I figured they had bigger issues to work on. It was depression talking. Kids losing an intact family is a big deal, and in retrospect, seeing how they have rallied around my family after my Dad's death, I have no doubt they would have reached out to us when we were facing the divorce, too.

Maybe you have spoken with your pastor or elders already.

Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010