wow i wish i had time to read this whole thread. i stumbled into the wrong forum and saw this and i am amazed at all the kinds of problems there are besides affairs. i wish i had some really good advice for you, but does H know about MB? if he does, has he been willing to accept the concepts and make them his own? Does H see that there are problems within the marriage that are disturbing to you?

one thing that disturbs me about your situtation is when you tried to get your church involved. it isn't right that the pastor or whomever you asked for help to approach your H said he wouldn't or "couldn't". this just isn't like ANY church i have ever attended or been a member of. i know you said that attendance is in upwards of 20k people and you mentioned something about a CARE team. what have they said about approaching your husband? And if your husband is involved in the church as well, why wouldn't it be possible to schedule an appt for both of you to attend? just the fact that you were told that they wouldnt help you because H had to contact them, just totally boggles my mind. to me that is not a properly funtioning church, no offense. the church we chose to become members of, they become our family, and they should treat eachother as such. and most will help with anything they are physically able to. my church has helped me out tremendously, they even bought new locks and changed them when i got a restraining order on my H and had 3 dollars to my name because H wiped out my acct. I am so saddened that your church and it's elders are not willing to take such a simple step as you have asked. im so sorry. i hope it works out for you. God Bless