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kilted_thrower #2459414 01/03/11 02:03 PM
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Originally Posted by kilted_thrower
I was just thinking about the chef services. My wife thought it would be nice to make my lunch one day. Of which I thanked her for. She decided to make my lunch the second day. I have no idea why since I have never asked her to. I think she just thought she was being nice. On the third day, I stopped her. I told her "lemme take care of my lunch."
Her: "Why? I can do it."
Me: "Because you're not making it the way I like it."
Her: "What's wrong with it."
Me: "You didn't way out the protein portion. And the romaine lettuce is too wet and in too large of pieces. The cucumber is chopped to small and you removed the skin. There wasn't near enough green olives in there and they werne't chopped. You used yellow onion instead of red onion and you left them too large of sections. I think you only put a half of abell peopper in there instead of a whole one. And there was too much blue cheese dressing and not near enough balsamic vinegar. And that's for starters."

So we went back to me making my lunches and all was happy again. She finally understood why it took me 30 min to prepare a meal for the next day.

Hmmm... Can anyone say OCD?


Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
CWMI #2459415 01/03/11 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by CWMI
So you are anal and you don't expect your wife to be so? Will you talk to my H?

lmao! No. And I don't really consider myself anal...hahahahaha!!! Really, CWMI, I'm pretty easy...physical intimacy a couple times a week and an hour or 2 a night where we just hang out and talk, laugh, throw water ballons at each other (jk on the water ballons) and I'm pretty satisfied. Basically her not love busting through AOs, interruptions, and DJs and it fills my love bank smile

Okay, I'll leave that comment alone. I started cleaning more because my wife has a DS EN and I wanted to meet her needs. So I started doing more around the house...dishes after supper, vaccumming after the dishes were done, folding laundry while watching evening TV, etc. It just got to be a routine.

I do most of the cooking because I love to cook. After supper, I usually tackle the kitchen while my wife bathes the kids and gets em ready for bed. She hates doing laundry, so I do that> I don't really like doing the bathroooms, so she usually does those on Sunday.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

kilted_thrower #2459416 01/03/11 02:08 PM
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There is nothing wrong with my home. I would invite you in, and be proud of it. I already spend a couple of hours a day on the house, and my home is not cluttered in the least.

I'm not going to sweep and mop everyday, because it does not NEED it. My H needs it, so I told him to BUY it. But he wants it for free, or at my expense. Does that sound MB to you?


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
CWMI #2459417 01/03/11 02:08 PM
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Originally Posted by CWMI
jeje...I can still scream on teh interwebz...

I don't really want you, kt, to counsel my H. The reason being is that you are not where I want to be in my relationship. I don't want a H who thinks it is fine if I go on a drinking party bus for the night without him. I want a more protective H than you are.

And that's fine. I think everyone deserves to have the relationship they want/need. I don't think you'd be hip on your husband going and playing indoor soccer on the weekend nights. I think you reserve those for date nights.

Last edited by kilted_thrower; 01/03/11 02:09 PM.

Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

writer1 #2459421 01/03/11 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted by writer1
Hmmm... Can anyone say OCD?

ha! Already been through this. And, yes, I was told I'm OCD about my meal preparations. And it's okay to me because I make them for myself. I realize I'm high maintenence when it comes to meal prep and so I don't ask others to do it.

I weigh out my food. I eat a certian number of fruits and vegetables a day. I have a daily intake of protein I want. I want my vegetables to be a certain size and I don't want too much dressing or it ruins the flavor of the food.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

kilted_thrower #2459423 01/03/11 02:15 PM
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You have, though, kt. You had a thread about it.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
writer1 #2459424 01/03/11 02:15 PM
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Originally Posted by writer1
Originally Posted by kilted_thrower
I was just thinking about the chef services. My wife thought it would be nice to make my lunch one day. Of which I thanked her for. She decided to make my lunch the second day. I have no idea why since I have never asked her to. I think she just thought she was being nice. On the third day, I stopped her. I told her "lemme take care of my lunch."
Her: "Why? I can do it."
Me: "Because you're not making it the way I like it."
Her: "What's wrong with it."
Me: "You didn't way out the protein portion. And the romaine lettuce is too wet and in too large of pieces. The cucumber is chopped to small and you removed the skin. There wasn't near enough green olives in there and they werne't chopped. You used yellow onion instead of red onion and you left them too large of sections. I think you only put a half of abell peopper in there instead of a whole one. And there was too much blue cheese dressing and not near enough balsamic vinegar. And that's for starters."

So we went back to me making my lunches and all was happy again. She finally understood why it took me 30 min to prepare a meal for the next day.

Hmmm... Can anyone say OCD?

Me! Pick me! smile


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
kilted_thrower #2459427 01/03/11 02:21 PM
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Originally Posted by kilted_thrower
[

Okay, I'll leave that comment alone. I started cleaning more because my wife has a DS EN and I wanted to meet her needs.

Okay, counsel me this, swami...my H says that he cleans for ME. I've told him that his cleaning is a LB to me, it is an annoying habit and results in AOs from him where he berates not only me but the children for being, in his words, 'filthy'.

But he still insists he does it for me.

So I won't have to.

Ya know, do something I wouldn't have done to begin with.

Is that good, iyho?


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
CWMI #2459430 01/03/11 02:25 PM
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Originally Posted by CWMI
I'm not going to sweep and mop everyday, because it does not NEED it. My H needs it, so I told him to BUY it. But he wants it for free, or at my expense. Does that sound MB to you?

That's fine. I have to sweep and mop or there is literally shoe scuff marks, food on the floor from supper. The main reason I sweep and mop (we don't have a large kitchen or dining room) is because I'm afraid my 2 year old will get sick from his mouth being on the floor or picking something up. So I take 4-5 min to sweep and mop the kitchen. I konw your husband likes teh chairs pushed in a certain way and all that and I think that's a bit much.

As far as what's reasonable pertaining to MB and domestic services is kind of up to each couple. I have no idea about buying or doing things for free. All I know is what I do and what has been done in my family and the friends I've visited as a kid and as an adult. Pretty standard was vacuumed living room, kitchen swept and mopped, counter tops cleaned off, dishes down, table wiped down and clean. Then any clutter or kids toys were returned to rooms rather than lying on the floor and bathrooms presentable if company came over (no dirty clothes on teh floor, no toothpaste all over teh sink).


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

CWMI #2459436 01/03/11 02:33 PM
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Originally Posted by CWMI
Okay, counsel me this, swami...my H says that he cleans for ME. I've told him that his cleaning is a LB to me, it is an annoying habit and results in AOs from him where he berates not only me but the children for being, in his words, 'filthy'.

But he still insists he does it for me.

So I won't have to.

Ya know, do something I wouldn't have done to begin with.

Is that good, iyho?


No. Cleaning is something that he�d have to do for himself if he were single. He doesn�t clean for you�he cleans because it�s just what has to be done when you live in a building. For me, I don�t clean FOR my wife. I clean because it has to be done and I clean because it fills an EN of my wife. I know she hates doing laundry and I don�t mind it. So I tackle the laundry because she hates it�it�s really a division of chores. Like with the kitchen, I do it because my wife would prefer to spend the time bathing the kids. So I tackle the kitchen so we can spend time together.

I don�t think any insulting should happen. I don�t think children should be insulted like that. And I don�t think a spouse should ever berate another spouse in front of the children. I also don�t like LBs. If I�m doing something that is an LB to my wife, I stop it.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

kilted_thrower #2459438 01/03/11 02:35 PM
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It's pretty standard at my house, too. Doesn't mean I deserve to be verbally beaten if a kid spit toothpaste on the sink and it was still there an hour later...

A day later, maybe, or clean it up yourself, hey that's a thought! And exactly what SH suggested.

In my house, I abhor clutter. I spend much of my time cleaning it up, or telling my kids to clean it up, since my detritus is books and they are shelved. My H's detritus is dust bunnies. Which he was convinced was caused by carpet.

Dust is from people.

So new dust is planted every day.

And he thinks I should keep on top of the DUST, instead of the PEOPLE WHO MAKE IT. I'm much more interested in people than the dust they make. However, he focuses on the dust. He has cleaned a table in our home and been BESIDE himself when a dust layer settled again. It just SHOULD NOT HAPPEN.

Yeah, good luck with that...six people + dog = daily dust.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
CWMI #2459441 01/03/11 02:40 PM
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lol, you mentioned the toothpaste. I was thinking to myself last night before I went to bed as I noticed some toothpaste on the counter top...if that's still there when I get home from work tomorrow, I'll wipe it up.

For some reason it just wasn't that important right then. And I seriously need to change the air filters and dust.



Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

kilted_thrower #2459454 01/03/11 02:54 PM
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Why are we talking about DS again?

Our home could be SPOTLESS, not a mark on it, like nobody even lived in it, and my H would still hurt me with travel. So why bother? BTDT, ate myself full of resentment for it.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
kilted_thrower #2459455 01/03/11 02:55 PM
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Thought I'd ask you guys..

How often do you have a company come out and vacuum out the duct work?

Is there a time of year that's better to have this done???

Mr. Wondering


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
MrWondering #2459457 01/03/11 02:58 PM
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Are you seriously cluttering up my thread with duct cleaning questions, you overtanned bs'er???


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
kilted_thrower #2459459 01/03/11 03:01 PM
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Originally Posted by kilted_thrower
Originally Posted by writer1
Hmmm... Can anyone say OCD?

ha! Already been through this. And, yes, I was told I'm OCD about my meal preparations. And it's okay to me because I make them for myself. I realize I'm high maintenence when it comes to meal prep and so I don't ask others to do it.

I weigh out my food. I eat a certian number of fruits and vegetables a day. I have a daily intake of protein I want. I want my vegetables to be a certain size and I don't want too much dressing or it ruins the flavor of the food.

I guess that's fine, except it would probably be an LB for me if my H spent a great deal of time every night doing something like this. But then, that's probably because we have a 2-year-old and I would be the one who would have to watch her while he did it, and we already don't get enough UA time. So yeah, it might be a problem if my H spent 30 minutes every night making his lunch.


Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
MrWondering #2459460 01/03/11 03:02 PM
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Originally Posted by MrWondering
Thought I'd ask you guys..

How often do you have a company come out and vacuum out the duct work?

Is there a time of year that's better to have this done???

Mr. Wondering

You're supposed to vacuum the duct work? Who knew?


Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
CWMI #2459461 01/03/11 03:03 PM
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Originally Posted by CWMI
Why are we talking about DS again?

Our home could be SPOTLESS, not a mark on it, like nobody even lived in it, and my H would still hurt me with travel. So why bother? BTDT, ate myself full of resentment for it.

I'm kind of wondering about this too. What does this have to do with her issue with her H's traveling?


Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
MrWondering #2459464 01/03/11 03:06 PM
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I found this.

We will probably get ours done this year before spring starts. DS3 has asthma and it's probably good for us to keep the ducts cleaned out. North Texas has a long allergy season; something is always putting out pollen.

My wife likes for me to change the air filter once a month too.


Me - 44
DW - 39
Married 16 years
DS10
DS6
DD4
bitbucket #2459466 01/03/11 03:08 PM
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bit, please don't feed my trolls. Start a new duct cleaning thread.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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