Originally Posted by CWMI
Steve's advice about that was probably the only positive about our sessions. He does not [censored] about the house anymore. He does still square the chairs and sofas and tables as soon as he walks in the house, and I typically respond, "I tried. I know how you like it, and I really did try to make it so." And he gives me his BS about how difficult he knows he is, and he appreciates it, and I feel like carp.

And more and more, I understand...

I feel for you on this. My husband has some strong OCD tendencies that are very difficult to live with. It has taken me twenty years (and a counselor) to objectively recognize that things like him pulling the bandaid wrapper out of the trash to put it in the recycling are not really about me but about him. However, since he has a very black and white idea of how the world "should" be (chairs squared?), it makes me (in his eyes) wrong because bandaid wrappers SHOULD go in the recycling. So while I understand that it gives him the heebie-jeebies on a massive scale just knowing it's there, it is very very very hard to live with. I haven't folded a pair of his socks in 19 years because he told me one too many times that I did it wrong, wasn't matching them by color, age AND thickness. At which point I developed a severe case of blue/black/brown color-blindness that remains uncured to this day.

I'm unclear, though, from some of your posts if you find this stuff more tolerable when it isn't COMBINED WITH the traveling? Sometimes you speak of that in-between period being a peaceful one (although presumably his behaviors in that respect have been consistent throughout), and sometimes it seems like these things are dealbreakers unto themselves.