ML, we coached for 2 years with someone who helped us implement the MB system. We filled out the questionaires. We worked to reduce LBs. We implemented POJA and tried to negotiate win-win agreements we could both be enthusiastic about. It never worked for us. Neither of us is willing to work toward meeting the other person's #1 EN. Without that commitment, everything else is just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

The Harleys are not going to motivate me to be more successful at work. Without that, Mrs. Hold will never feel romantic love for me. And without that romantic love, she will never address her issues regarding sex.

This is, at heart, a problem of me not believing in me. No coach or therapist can convince me I can succeed. So none of them can convince me that it is even worth trying. I am convinced that I am doomed to failure, and that the best I can hope for is to just put one foot in front of the other and keep plodding forward until I die. I have no dreams, no ambitions, no goals and no hopes.

So yes, I can understand why my wife does not love me or want to have sex with me. I don't blame her. I wouldn't love me or want to have sex with me, either.