And scratch that. I emailed the dude and asked him to not go through my H again, to deal with me directly. So he asked me, and I told him no, just like last year, and asked him to remember it for next year so he doesn't inadvertently start any arguments between my H and I again. Ugh.

H is po'd...thinks I threw away money, I asked him if money was more important than my feelings and he said no, so I asked him why was he pressuring me and saying, "Think of it like this: it's someone you don't like, so you may as well take their money."

H said, Why didn't you tell me no to begin with? I said I did! I did say no, not interested, don't like the guy, don't want to do anything for him. Then came the money-from-people-you-don't-like comment, then the guilt trip about cigarettes and how much they cost.

I really don't need this today. I handled this wrong, I should have stuck with the solid no I started with.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)