kt, what I was saying was that he hasn't bothered to stop before because he doesn't see our arguments about it as a problem for him. Me being hurt by his actions have not been, and still aren't, a problem for him. It's the lack of empathy and lack of ability to understand how other people are affected by your choices. If he can behave his way out of that, and really REALLY start considering me and the kids, for the long term, then that's wonderful. Like the porn example, the H has to CARE that he's hurting the wife and marriage, or he will not be motivated to stop the behavior.

If I am offended that he presented it to his boss as uniting in belief with the bossman and I'm just a naggy harpy who is tying his hands on the issue, then I'm offended, and I don't think that's an irrational feeling given the long history. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy he finally got it out there, just a bit bugged that he said he did that a long time ago, and a bit apprehensive that this time is a lie, too. Boy who cried wolf and all that...you keep lying about the same thing over and over, and people end up not believing you when you're being truthful cause your credibility is shot.

So...I'll believe it when I see it in a couple of weeks.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)