Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
You see my wife simply rejects anything she doesn't want to deal with. Because her mother abused her verbally her entire life, her self-esteem is incredibly fragile. As a defense mechanism, rather than accept shortcomings, mistakes, or deal with anything which make her feel bad about herself, she either rejects it entirely or makes an excuse to get her off the hook!



Don't most people reject anything that makes her feel bad about themselves?? I SURE WOULD!! You are not likely to attract her to anything if you approach her like that. Who wants to be around someone who makes them FEEL BAD?

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Had a fight this morning before I left for work. She told me she hated me which is pretty common. This is a never ending story of repetition.


I would stop fighting with her; it takes 2 people to fight. Additionally, I would pick up the book LOVEBUSTERS and start there instead of Fall in Love, Stay in Love. If you are fighting with your wife, you aren't going to interest her in recovering your marriage.

Also, I would stop bringing up her family since it is irrelevant to the present. If you can stop fighting with her and attract her to your marriage, she can learn to overcome her verbal abuse.

You are right about learning this program inside and out. But also consider getting some of the services here if you can't get anywhere with that. Steve Harley is often very effective in motivating a reluctant spouse to get on board.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101