I agree with you. It is possible she does. But I can't.

I was miserable before I met her. I remain miserable. That is the constant.

Her refusal to have sex with me during our honeymoon did not help matters. It created a dynamic we cannot break out of. But it did not cause my lack of confidence. That already existed. Her behavior merely confirmed, for me, that there is no hope for me. If even the woman I agreed to marry and support and bear and raise children with does not find me attractive, then no woman will. Nothing in my life since then has shaken that core belief. I don't expect anything ever will.

And it goes without saying that if women will never find me sexually attractive, then there is no point in making an effort to succeed at work. You see, despite my verbiage here, I actually live by the perspective you espouse. I don't believe woman will want me even if I had more money, or that anything good would come of it if they did. So I don't bother to make more money. Since women finding me sexually attractive is, after all, the only reason to do anything in life.

I am guessing that last part is where our views diverge.

When you can see it coming, duck!