So I was just going over my cell phone bill. A bill that STBX/XWH and I share still because of contractual constraints...and because I am nosy and I still have a tendency to rent him space in my brain, for whatever dumb reason.

Apparently, the poor ignorant new GF likes to listen to him go on about himself or he likes to pretend like he likes to listen now. Who can say what is in the mind of a new and improved X/WS? He's reinventing himself and abandoning everyone and thing that was in his path or past before.

I find myself annoyed by this, but also sympathetic because he has been unable to love himself enough to stick with liking the person who his core was. He didn't like himself enough to be at peace with his life. I'm resentful that I was the [censored] that got wrapped up in it and got my feelings hurt. *rips hair out*. But I'm going to walk out of it and I will make a new and improved version of the self I always was, and that's good! I just have to be patient and wait for it to happen, which is the part that sucks! But it's also a good motivator!

Oh, and valentines day is coming up. SCREW YOU VALENTINES DAY! A day for love. He'll likely be hanging out with his new girlfriend in his new fake life and I'll remember "oh, today would've been 18 years we were married".

I'm slowly coming out of this, but I would still love a free crotch shot on him on quite a few days. Just a swift kick to alleviate some frustration. Is that too much to ask?