See, that is where we disagree. I have a reunion coming up. I am unsure whether I should go. If someone asks me how I feel about HLS, these days I feel that the worst thing HLS ever do for me was admit me.

I would much prefer if I had spent my time getting drunk at bars and having sex with women I didn't know. I feel that I wasted my youth deferring my desires in the hope that I would be rewarded in later years. Not having been rewarded in later years, I feel that I should have spent my weekends during college at the bar at the O'Hare Hilton picking up middle aged women on layovers rather than studying to get good grades. I would say I made stupid choices that have now locked me in to running on a treadmill. I feel like a hamster on a wheel. Not as someone who has any control over my life. And certainly not someone who can write their own ticket.

Mrs. Hold had a take home test last night. I sat next to her and calmed her down and kept reassuring her she is smart and was doing a great job. She thanked me for being there for her. She even gave me a hug when she was done. But as you say, for this old man nothing tastes good. I am not proud of myself for taking the time to sit with her. Or for having the wisdom to be able to say something helpful while she was stressed. Or for living up to my aspirations for how a husband should behave. I just feel numb. And stupid for throwing coins in a bucket that has no bottom.