Okay, Hold, so grow a pair and go do something you like. Lots of people change careers. So stop being a lawyer. Be something else.

You say you don't appreciate your blessings. So appreciate them.

I've known people like you my entire life. Heck, I was raised by one. Trust me, you aren't doing your kids any service by staying the way you are and still insisting on being around them. If you don't care about yourself, and that's pretty obvious, maybe you can at least find it in yourself to care about your kids enough to stop inflicting all this self-imposed miserableness on them. I certainly wish my own mother would have figured out how to do that, but she's 63 and still going strong in all her depressive nastiness.

You can choose to be that way for the rest of your life if you want to. I have no idea why anyone would want to though. And if you do, don't be surprised if your kids move far away when they grow up and don't ever call and you find yourself living alone with a bunch of cats.

Good luck with that.